Below is the tribute I gave at the recent celebration of Fiona’s life held on 12 December 2022 at Islington Cemetery and Crematorium. I was honoured to be invited to speak about our friendship. This is the full tribute below. I only read a fraction of what I had prepared due to time but people have asked for the full version, so here it is.
Fiona with my guitar
I met Fiona in September 1975 when we were almost 18 years old. We were just starting our teacher training at St Mary’s College in Cheltenham. Fiona was from Watford and I was from north of Watford – Coventry. We found ourselves in the same hall of residence – Dunholme at The Park in Cheltenham. It was leafy, beautiful and a peaceful change from where we had come from. Dunholme was a grand building but smallish by Victorian standards with about 12 rooms housing about 20 or so young women. It wasn’t long before Fiona and I connected deeply. Our friendship blossomed from that early encounter and remained for a lifetime.
We connected I think because we discovered we shared common ground in that we were both from broken homes – our parents were divorced. So we became allies in navigating the troubled waters of that challenging life-affecting experience. I think we had both developed sensitivities and unspoken difficulties here. It’s something we talked about a lot, often into the early hours as you do when you are young.
During vacations, Fiona lived with her mum and stepfather, Adrian in Watford. I remember she adored her grandad on her mum’s side. Her family relationships became complicated over time and the journey with that was a revelation to me.
To me, she seemed to have an exotic dad who lived in Japan and was a dentist. I was always amazed by Fiona’s beautifully kept teeth and guessed he was responsible! My dad had also been to Japan when he was in the navy. I know it sounds odd but that’s the kind of coincidence you consider when you are young: both our dads had connections with Japan – a faraway exotic place in those days; something I think we both aspired to – going far away – away from the difficulties.
Down at The Old Bull and Bush, London
Our backgrounds were also very different. Fiona didn’t get a full grant like me. Her dad had to contribute to her fees and subsistence. I lived with my mum and was in receipt of a full grant. It was always strange to me that though we were both from one-parent families there was that difference in state support for our studies. It was something we talked about a lot.
Fiona and I were part of the St Mary’s Christian Union and our church backgrounds also formed that common ground, which led to long debates and questioning late into the night. We were particularly troubled by the strict rules we encountered through that system. We swung between trying to fit in, celebrating our difference and relishing our rebelliousness. Despite all this, Fiona went on to marry Marcus who was president of the Christian Union and ultimately she became a vicar’s wife in the early years of her career as a teacher. I recall visiting them where I encountered Lasagne and Garlic Mussels for the first time. Fiona was a good cook.
Another pub meal in London
Our time at St Mary’s swung between the security of the Christian faith and a keenness to explore an alternative way which I think we both discovered separately as we moved through our lives: Fiona in her work eventually as a palaeontologist and me through theatre and performance making. We both left teaching to pursue alternative careers.
Colleagues from College on a trip to Coventry
Fiona was a wonderful artist and I was always in awe of her etchings, pastels and watercolours. Her main study at St Mary’s was visual art, which meant she was frequently at the St Paul’s campus and frequently falling in love with art students; two, in particular, I recall; one a Christian and the other not. This typified a dilemma which played out in later life for both of us.
Artistically I learned much from her about colour and perspective and recall my own foray into visual arts in a short photography course I took at St Mary’s when I recruited her as my subject in our third year. Since we were both studying to teach middle years children, (8-13) we covered all subjects and when it came to art for children she was my ‘go to’ person.
Fiona’s Damson Fly
Fiona’s Hummingbirds
We also shared a love of music. Fiona was an accomplished pianist. As part of our Christian Union activities, I have a vague memory that we visited Gloucester prison where she played the piano and I sang for the prisoners. We also visited Cheltenham hospital as part of the Christian Union social engagement activities. I have vivid memories of spending time in the music rooms on campus working on Carpenters numbers and secretly thinking we could make something of that.
We also ventured into acting and performed a sketch concerning a class-differentiated parents’ evening with colleagues Richard Kay and Mark Whitehouse. Fiona acted the posh parent and me the working class parent – oh if it could be that simple! Other co-creative work included working on Donna Woodman’s Nativity and Jenny Etherington’s theatre-in-education production The Horn Of Heimdal during those three years at St Mary’s.
Teaching practices were always fuelled with anxiety and stress but we survived and I reckon Fiona always got the short straw – her T.P. experiences were excruciatingly horrendous.
Other things we got up to included crazy cycles up Leckhampton Hill to run workshops at the Star Centre, which were rewarded by ecstatic swoopings downhill peddle-less. We went to the Keswick Convention in Cumbria with the Christian Union and I think that’s where Fiona was falling for Marcus, maybe? We gossiped frequently in coffee shops on Cheltenham’s parade changing the world as you do and worried about the sect, The Children of God and so on. I think you could say we were thick as thieves in our youthful deliberations.
One memory I have of her was when she came to stay at our house in Coventry and my family fell in love with her; a love and respect that continued, in that three brothers and my sister always asked after her and she of them, sending their condolences when we lost her. They were so very fond of her.
Waterfield Family visit to Cheltenham
The other memory I have is of a holiday we took camping in France with Dave Griffiths and Aidee Lloyd at the end of our third year. Aidee and Fiona were kind of chaperones to Dave Griffiths and me who were going out at the time. Those were the days!
Reflecting back on it all, most of all I will cherish forever Fiona’s kindness, intelligence, humanity and friendship, her tears and her heartache, her battles, her wonderful mind and her relentless creativity. I am so glad to have known her.
George Michael’s tributes in Highgate near Fiona’s flat.
Comments 2
A beautiful tribute to friendship x
Thank you Carran for this beautifully crafted, heartfelt tribute. How precious to have enjoyed such a deep friendship for life! I remember Fiona with great fondness. Her sense of humour was awesome!
I also remember singing with your good self and Sarah Brown; we even made a recording of our songs. A copy of this tape was posted to the Paul Crocombe and David Griffiths when they were out in India. I know Paul kept and treasured that tape. Those days at St Mary’s were life changing.
And so we continue to pray for Barry ……and for you Carran…..and all those who loved her. xxx