Might this do as a protest?
A statement of intent
That is personal because I am confused by any official guidance and the lack of it.
To pause
To pause
To pause
I will pause while you breathe and think again.
I will pause while you refrain from pressing that trigger.
I will pause while you reframe your story.
I will pause while you reinvent history.
To pause is like a slippery, sloppy nothingness.
A flaccid inept gaping cavern
In which nothing happens except a small apology
Followed by a continuation of the status quo.
To pause is to confirm helplessness.
To pause is to confirm no one’s listening.
What to do
What to do
I have a little voice.
I have little voice.
I have no voice.
You should say something.
You should make a stand.
You should state what you think.
You should.
You should.
You should.
I am watching from the side lines, from my obsessions with my own locality, the international stories from all sides, the translations and the variations and the contradictions and the expositions on all these horrific traumatisations.
And they are saying it will go on for generations and generations and generations
And they’ll never get over it.
And they’ll never get over it.
And they’ll never get over it.
Because they won’t forget.
And our ‘Lest we forget’ is a just forgotten apology for something we once did
For good, or maybe bad.
These suffering human beings are so far away from me.
Yet they are playing out their bloodletting stories in my living room and they are invading my dreams.
I am made responsible for something I didn’t ask for.
Did they think these things in 1914?
Did they think this in 1939?
How about 1948?
Or 1956?
Or 19 whatever or 20 whatever?
And how about 21 WHATEVER?
It’s always happening.
It’s never ending.
It’s what humanity does.
It just can’t help itself.
If I don’t shout out, does it mean I am not angry?
If I don’t march, does it mean I am not doing anything?
How will shouting explain?
Where will a march arrive?
I don’t want a pause.
I don’t just want a ceasefire.
I want the whole thing to stop.
I want it to stop.
I want it to stop.
I want it to stop.
I want it to stop.
Just stop.
But they won’t and they can’t.
The trauma is too deep.
The hate is too rooted.
The politics are too complex.
The main players are too vengeful.
And the media too greedy.
LET’S JUST EXCHANGE.
OK EXCHANGE.
HOW ABOUT EXCHANGING THOSE FROM THAT TIME?
OR THOSE ONES FROM THAT OTHER TIME?
YES, LET’S JUST EXCHANGE – YOU GO FIRST.
Oh, and on the terrorist question – hmm – that needs some definition, some kind of conjugation or subdued restriction.
It will take more than a demonstration or a statement from a councillor.
It will take a reinstatement of faith in humanity and a refocus of religion in the light of a state or two states or an acknowledgement of that we are in a state of utter helplessness and voicelessness taken over by something that we just don’t understand because we couldn’t be bothered to march or to sign something or to call it out or to say:
This is just too much.
This is just too much.
This IS TOO MUCH!
I DO NOT AGREE WITH A PAUSE. A CEASEFIRE WILL NOT BE SUFFICIENT.
I WANT IT ALL TO STOP.
Carran Waterfield Nov 2023.